we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize