Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
don't judge my taste in strippers
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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