it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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