so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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