just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
smell my finger.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I stole a fireplace last night.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
