At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
