he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
