I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I believe in your delicious
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
