the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize