I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
