How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
