i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
