i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
