Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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