was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
