If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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