Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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