Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
