she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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