STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
