I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize