I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
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I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
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What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem