The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work