I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
