how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize