Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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