Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize