where does the pee come out of this thing
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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