hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
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you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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