apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
