Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Omg I joined a choir last night...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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