@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
