i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
