i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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