I cockslap morals
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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