In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
