We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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