Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
