You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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