I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
