bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
