Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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