are you so shy because you have an std?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
