I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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