opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize