I'm lost and stupid without you.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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