I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
