i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize