no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.