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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  We shouldn"t be alone together

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  you didn"t say that yesterday

  (813): View more from Florida

  you weren't married yesterday

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• 

  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  His dick was poking my bladder. That big...

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• (281): View more from Texas

  His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (818): View more from California

  You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.

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• (650): View more from California

  Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?

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