Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.