Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
