What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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