I wish my penis had an off switch
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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