I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
