so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize