you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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