my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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