why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
