8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
