I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
