Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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