For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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