i may or may not be watching the land before time
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
